A lot of things have happened since my last post. I can’t believe I have been absent from the world of blogging for nine months. But I’m still there doing what any mother ought to. (though cutting myself some slack)
This whole season has been such a time of learning and growing in Christ with all the circumstances He brought my way.
Last July I was pregnant (yes I didn’t announce it in blog land) and full of excitement. After my previous miscarriage I was so trilled with my sonography reports. Having experienced two miscarriages in the past, I really didn’t want my husband away while pregnant, but this time he had to go for a family wedding and so had my mom! Little did I know that those two weeks would be most memorable with my dad. I cooked some of his favorite meals and went out to dinners, did nature walks together. We read the bible together… those were sweetest moments I will cherish for life!
In November last year, he was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer. This was really hard and came like a shock. I was four months pregnant… and this news was really hard to swallow. It was not easy, and this hymn ‘Day by day’ was my song, and 1Corinthians 15 my verse of choice – they tended and kept me!
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
But through it all, my dad has had such a good testimony, he never once questioned God. Always prayed and trusted Him, and was looking forward to the Kingdom. This whole experience strengthened our family. My mum also showed great fortitude and trust – a real strength to my sister and me!
I had just one request from God that I would be there by my father’s side the last moments of his life. Since he was in and out of the hospital, and if in the ICU we were not allowed in. God answered that prayer! I had the previous night with him and was there by his side the morning he passed away, March 29th, 2013.
My dad was the meekest and the most sweetest man I’ve know. I say this not just because he is my father, but because he was such a man… he could give the shirt off his back to another, peacemaking was second nature to him, he always regarded others first. That never changed even till the end! He was a committed Christian and loved the Lord with all his being. I will ALWAYS miss him! Oh, how I can’t wait for the resurrection!
I also want to announce that I had a baby girl, Neriah, on April 2nd, few days after my dad passed away. I really wished for my dad to have seen her. But she couldn’t have been better timed. She has brought great joy to my mum and me in this time of mourning. This has really helped my mum immensely, God does things in ways we can’t comprehend till much later. A commingling of joy and sorrow, and of assurance that I will see my father in the coming kingdom! Life will always have a blend of these emotions and trusting Him is the only way to move on.
I am happy to get back in blogland after a whole tumultuous season! Looking forward to parenting with another baby in tow!
Not so very long ago, we had just finished a sumptuous meal from the ever so famous Andhra eatery, Andhra Bhavan, here in New Delhi. It was the weekend and was so crowded near the gate. We stumbled on a very dreary looking, tall man dressed in a robe and sash with unkempt hair reaching his shoulders and doped up. Remembered looking at him and feeling quite disgusted. Few steps away my son says, “Mama… wait a minuted…I think I just saw Jesus!” I was mortified to say the least to know that the image of Jesus Christ conjured up in his little mind was linked to this ungodly looking man! Oh no!
I’m glad to have made a virtue of this opportunity to communicate who Jesus is not. I said quite emphatically, “This is not Jesus… He can never be so untidy and shabby. This man looks more like a man that disobeys the commands of Jesus. And by the way, Jesus is not on earth, he is in heaven now and will come back to the earth one day.” I would have explained more but for his age – he’s is only 3 years old.
I was aware about good illustrated bible story books much earlier and had made sure to have only those, BUT for a few board books. And that was impressional enough! It then struck me that he, with very little eagerness listen to bible stories read from books. However, he would listen with zeal and participation to stories read directly from the bible or simply narrated. I guess, I’m just presuming, that the pictures from books must evoke images that he was not fond of! It also occurred to me that it was not just the long hair (which is not true about the appearance of Jesus) but the dress of those days, which was true, that interfered with his perception of Jesus and the stories from the bible. Anyway the bible was give to man without illustrations, so why not let his mind directly meet the stories from the bible without much interference from pictures. I had gleaned this truth from Ms. Mason and narrated a lot of bible stories albeit not followed it regimentally and consistently.
“Away with books, and ‘reading to’–for the first five or six years of life. The endless succession of story-books, scenes, shifting like a panorama before the child’s vision, is a mental and moral dissipation; he gets nothing to grow upon, or is allowed no leisure to digest what he gets. (CM V5, p 216)” she recommended learning few stories and telling it to them instead!
That does not mean I will never read bible stories from illustrated books ever!! But for now, for Nathan, I have decided to stave off biblical story books for a while and will narrate parables and old testament stories instead! Let his imagination conjure up his own images FIRST, and get acquainted with and love the stories. Incidentally, he loves me reading straight from the KJV every morning.. he actually enjoys that!
This episode set me thinking how essential is my part in developing my son’s perception of Jesus Christ so that he will desire God and learn to love Him. I really want Nathan’s initial perception of God to be that of omnipotent, holy, pure, logical – the qualities that drew me to GOD!! It just dawned on me that how will all these facets unfold in his life will primarily depend on me. I vaguely knew this fact (I guess all moms know that) but didn’t think of strategically and in a more conscientious way, with prayer, teaching and watching for opportunities to reveal those things about God. Steven does a lot of that, but Nathan spending most of his time with me, I want to brace myself to make good use of opportunities that can so very easily slip my way. This is my top prayer request that I will be endowed with special wisdom to seize the opportunities in the day to impart truth, thus shaping his perception! What a privilege and what a responsibility!
Just got done reading a famous Charles Dickens classic “A tale of two cities”. Just loved every bit of it! It’s so funny that I never was given to reading when I was young and now I feel like a print junkie! Dr. Manette, being rent from his unborn child and imprisoned in the Bastille without a trial, his daughter growing up without the knowledge of his existence, was finally know to have been ‘recalled to life’ from that unfortunate situation. The loving solicitude of his daughter really restores Dr. Manette from this insensate state to life. The reason of his incarceration not known until much later in the novel was this evil Marquis Evremonde. Dr. Manette was in such a unique situation – to be the victim of the Evremonde family and yet prizing his daughter’s happiness wants to help his son-in-law, a member of that very same infamous family. It’s amazing what the impact of time, experience and relationships on life can do!!! He also reveals such strength in pursuing to help save Charles Darney ( his son-in-law), revealing himself to be a man of distinction! … “ Silent, humane, indispensable in hospital and prison, using his art equally among assassins and victims, he was a man apart.”
Now I deviate, I feel “recalled to life” where blogging is concerned, not from anything dreadful but just from trotting all over the place these two months. We’ve been to Goa, Bombay, back to Delhi for my sister’s wedding, and then places in Andhra – Guntur, Markapur and Vijaywada. I am finally back and ready to roll. I hope to post some more.. may be this week sometime.
Being a mother is such a wonderful gift from the Lord and something most women have a deep longing for. Pregnancy, the whole experience in anticipation of a baby…. those who have been through it will testify how joyful and magical it can be. And finally, the moment when you hear the first cry of your new born!!!!!! Oh, words cannot express the joy!!!
This time, when I got to know that I was pregnant…..the excitement and the delight!!! This was in the first week of December. Felt extremely nauseous to the point I just couldn’t eat my own food…. eventually dropped cooking altogether!! The things family and I myself put-up with….. all for the sake of the one in anticipation!!! I really enjoyed all the pampering from my husband and my mother, and not to mention my friends in church!!
In January, my husband had to visit his home town for a while, and my mom left for Mumbai for some work. So it was my dad, my sister, my son and myself! My dad, who is suffering from cancer really needs someone to assist him, with the whole diet regime, supplements and juices that he has to take. I really enjoyed spending time with him, reading the bible and having discussions together which we really like doing as a family.
My visit to the doctor was due, was not very comfortable with the present doctor and wanted to see Dr. Urvashi Sehgal instead at Phoenix. It was the day before my husband arrived that I talked to him and on an impulse, I think it was more an instinct that drove me, went to do the Ultra Sound test for viability as written by the doctor(because of a previous miscarriage, the doc said that the test was only to satisfy my conscience). All my excitement and expectancy…all thwarted in just that hour!! It was my twelfth week and the baby was formed no more than six. My heart skipped a beat to hear this….being all alone, my husband and my mother both were out of town. The things that raced through my mind: what did I do wrong?? I should have done this….and I should have taking that… I wish I had taken rosemary teas…. and so on! I was quickly reminded not to go down that route! Think of it… there are many that do everything wrong and still deliver perfectly normal babies. Look at Rachel Crow, the X factor contestant, who was born a crack baby, her biological mother was on crack cocaine in her pregnancy… think of the threat to the fetus!! And yet, in spite of her mother being incautious, look at her now! No disabilities, a well behaved teenager with a deep affection toward her adoptive mother! Really since I would like to try again, condemning myself will take me nowhere, however focussing on nourishing my body for the next try seems more like it!
This was not my first miscarriage, my second. (However, I am so thankful that I am blessed with a son, 3yrs. now) My first miscarriage was traumatic, multiple reasons for that. One, definitely was my wrong perception to the whole episode. Believe me, I have learnt my lesson the hard way… a right perception is the key if you want to sail through a storm. Or rest assured you WILL be shipwrecked!
In such a time…. I have to say that I am blessed with a wonderful church…. a great circle of selfless friends, more than ever willing to be there. When I spoke to Probhita (my friend, my Pastor’s wife) from the hospital, she said, “ I’m just leaving right now” There is no better place to be than in the church’s wing… hanging around the people of God, those who genuinely care and bolster your faith, and being under good teaching to uplift you and fortify your mind in a storm.
I view this as from the hand of the Lord. It’s so reassuring, that He is more than able to give me my hearts desire! Just trusting God about everything! I could very well waste a lot of time thinking: Why did this happen, especially the second time? Could it happen again? But, what I have come to learn is that there is no better way to be comforted than to know (really understand) that God is in control. JUST TRUST HIM, specially when it’s beyond your power to do anything! The only solution to life’s problems: I say it again TRUST HIM. I think I missed this truth the first time and suffered serious consequences. I hate to admit it but it is true! So now, I always want to view life (the everyday and more so the unexpected trials) as an opportunity presenting itself to exercise faith, trusting in the plan of God!
There are so many that go through miscarriages with no support from family. And I…. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband that loves me and was such a support to me. He gave me a day off to just wallow in any thing I desired. Fixed breakfast, lunch and dinner, took care of Nathan. This whole week, he fixed breakfast for the family! I felt totally pampered. Friends in church eager to lend a helping hand! My mom, cooking some of my old time favorites! I am truly, extraordinarily blessed!
So as I move on and the storm subsides, my comfort verse for this season:
Proverbs 3:5 – 6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
One more thing…there’s one advice on anyone that has had a miscarriage- opt for a D&C and not the misoprostol pills. But just ensure you have an experienced doctor doing it. Taking the pills in my first miscarriage really wore me out! Going through the D& C was a breeze!
Hi and welcome!
Evocative press has came about from a desire to reminisce over wonderful events of life as a mother. I am a mom of a three year old son, Nathan. I intend homeschooling him, which would entail a lot of work and input from others. And I have great friends going before me in this similar endeavor.
The everyday can be so tangled, busy and yet with glorious moments worth celebrating. I would like to chronicle and share those joyous moments. It is always reassuring to have jotted down precedents in one’s life to make the future easy, especially as a domestic, homeschooling mother. And what’s even more encouraging is to be able to retrieve from a melange of forgotten ideas. My husband has always wanted me to start my own blog. BINGO!!! Here comes “Evocative Press”!!!